Contrary

If you feel like your emotions conflict, you’re not alone. Mine can often be contrary at the same time. While I can feel gratitude, I can simultaneously experience resentful feelings. The word “hypocrite” is what I used to beat myself up with when I had a few days where I struggled with my worth. Upset that I wrote to encourage people but felt so discouraged on the inside. To say I was wallowing in my down state isn’t quite correct but I felt aggravated that I couldn’t bust out of it by using, and choosing, to use the positive self-talk and perspectives that I read for self-betterment and even strive to convey in my life’s purpose.

This is where we (I) need to have grace with ourselves. Feelings shouldn’t be ignored, they deserve recognition, not necessarily validation. Emotions can get the better of what we really intend. It’s good to understand that a vast number of triggers happen to us every day that can affect the way we feel. The way we react might take time and training. Practice letting the good words and phrases repeat inside your head. It eventually becomes easier to get back to the uplifted state of being when the underwhelming business tries to take over.

We are not bad or hypocritical people for having negative feelings when we advocate positivity. We are actually recognizing that we are legit humans when we are being open and realistic about our emotions. Denial of peaks and valleys would be the true deception. Sincere feelings can only be conveyed when they are observed with honesty. A genuine effort to choose the positive emotion when there’s a contrary option will be the determining factor for being a hypocrite; and even that has potential to change for the better. ~trvw